Wednesday, August 28, 2013

THIS GRAVEL ROAD HAS ALOT OF BUMPS!

While Marley is on prolonged activity restrictions, I have started researching hip replacement for her. Hoping it never comes to that, but if it does I want to be ready. So much to research. Where to go, what surgeon, what type of surgery, both hips or just one, cemented or non cemented hip, recovery, rehab and the list goes on and on.

During my yearly blood draw, it was discovered that one of my thyroid tests was 10 times normal.....accounting for the weight gain and extreme fatigue I have been enduring. So I got a new prescription and orders to come back in 3 months.

I've been having some problems with right foot pain. I went to the ortho who took Xrays and discovered I have an unusual bone structure in my baby toe. Says it probably came from  repeated sprains while I was growing up. I'm so weird, I know. Anyhow, I have plantar fasciitis. Now I have it in both feet. Joy, joy! So I get to do lots of stretches and splinting.

KK and I are entered in an USDAA trial in LA in a few weeks. After that it's beach time and a long break. I need a break!!! Counting down the days until I'm on the beach!!!

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

THE BEGINNING OF THE END?

Marley is on hip rest again. Probably for 3 months. I think this may be the beginning of the end of her agility career. I don't think we are going to reach our goal of earning her MX titles. I don't think she will be able to stay healthy enough.


I had noticed in the last few trials, Marley just wasn't herself. She still tried in each run, but we just weren't able to pull it together. Marley is known for being a pokey weaver but her weaving is now just walking the poles. Ding, ding, ding. Weaving is hard on the hips. So if you have HD, weaving causes pain. She still manages some great runs but I usually cause a refusal so NQ for us. Mar's last run in Springfield was a NQ for us, but what I remember was she was HAPPY when she finished. So if that was our last run together, at least I know she was happy! Some people though Mar was being a toot by the way she was running and may have even laughed about it, but I bet they never noticed how she was running. As I was reviewing her runs, it is very apparent she was bunny hopping...a sign her hips were hurting her.


I talked to her vet a long time last week. One of the first things he asked me was 'Have you achieved everything you wanted to with Marley?" I told him "no, but I'm ok if I have to retire her, I just don't want her to be in pain". It makes me so sad to think that her career is probably over at just 5 years old. But it hurts me more to think that she's in pain. Mar is very stoic and rarely shows pain unless its pretty bad. This week she's been staying in the office in her crate a lot by herself so I know she's in some pain. Plus she's not been playing with KK much. The vet and I discussed different pain meds and the best ones at this point in time to make her comfortable. No mention of surgery yet but I know that is just a matter of time before I have to make that decision.


I mailed off entries for 2 agility trials this week. Only KK's were in the envelope. That mad me very sad. If you aren't invested in a sport, then you don't know how hard it is to be at a point where you are deciding to retire a dog. Yes, it's a dog and it's just a sport. But I have invested so much in my dog and my dreams and it hurts to think that it's over. It hurts. I had already entered Marley in a trial at the end of October and I did enter her in a few runs at our home club's trial in early November. I will wait and see how she is doing before I pull those entries.


I had so many hopes and dreams for Marley. I didn't count on her having HD. I didn't count on some of the turmoil early in her training. But we live and learn. Regardless of whether Marley can ever compete again or not, she will have the best life possible.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

TRUST

TRUST. Definition: assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something; one in which confidence is placed. 5 little letters. TRUST.

I have found myself not trusting Marley in agility but trusting a 21 m/o KK. It should be the other way around. I have been competing with Marley off and on for 3 years. I just realized we just had our 3 year anniversary. Totally forgot all about it. I think I have let my 'head' get in the way. I've gotten swept up by Q ing or earning new titles. I've forgotten why I do agility with Marley. I do agility because I love it. I love a challenge. I love running with my dog. I love being with my girls.



Marley trusts me. I will never know what damage was done to her in her first few weeks of life. But it was enough damage that she still carries it with her every day. Sometimes she sees something or hears something, and she gets this haunted look in her eyes and she just wants to get away. I have loved her from the moment I first saw her and have strived to give her the best home possible. I will always wonder about her past but I know I can't do anything about it. I can't change her past. All I can do is love her. Love her for her.




She is my soul. She gets me. I don't know why I can't trust her in agility. The sport I picked for us to run together. My head has gotten cloudy and I've put my goals ahead of Marley. I let other people get in my head and I didn't want to be left behind when hearing about their 'successes'. And along the line, I lost my trust in her. I know this is our journey and no one else's. And we are going to enjoy our journey together!

You never know the last time you will get to run agility with your dog. You never know the last time you will step to the line together or run across the finish together. It can be taken from you in a split second. A second and everything could be gone.



As I sit here typing with tears running down my cheeks, I know I will enjoy every run with Marley. I will trust her. I don't want our last run to be one that I didn't enjoy or even worse, a run that Marley didn't enjoy. I'm going to quit trying so hard to "Q" or focusing on how many QQ's she has or how many PACH points she has. I'm going to quit running with those thoughts in my head. I'm going to run Marley because I love to run with her. So if you see us run, I hope you see both of us having a fun time together. She deserves that. She deserves for me to trust her.

 
(Our 1st Snooker SuperQ and we won the whole class!! She might not have been the fastest, but she was consistent!)


I've had people tell me to retire Marley because I have KK and KK loves agility and has the potential to go far. I still believe that Marley loves agility and when people say that about her, it hurts my feelings. Marley isn't a cookie cutter agility dog nor is she a dog that I can outrun on a course (you know those people that just run and their dog takes any obstacle the handler runs past). She is Marley. She may decide to walk one course and the next she may be a speed demon. She keeps me on my toes.When I see video like this, I know Marley still loves agility.


So the next time we step to the line together, I will TRUST Marley. Regardless of the outcome of our runs, I will believe in my girl and that's all I need.

 


Here's a tribute to my baby girl.


Sunday, August 4, 2013

SUNDAYS ARE MOLLY'S

Ever since I got Marley and especially since I got Kalea-Kate, I make it a point to take Molly with me on Sundays when I go to town on errands. Somehow she seems to know when Sundays are. I guess she watches my movements so close, she just knows when it's her day.

She gets so excited on Sundays. She does a little, high pitched bark and runs around the house, bouncing. She expects a treat as soon as she gets in the car. Then she gets to stick her head out the window. She gets my lunch leftovers and then we go to her favorite store, Petco.

We walk around and around Petco, sniffing everything. She's a totally different dog when she's alone. She's so happy and friendly. She goes up to people and wants to get petted. She has mellowed so much in her golden years. She still acts tough but I think she's more bark than bite now.

Molly has taught me so much. She is my heart. She is my first dog I've had as an adult and I couldn't have picked a better girl.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

SUMMER SLUMP

We've hit a summer slump. It's just miserably hot and humid and the thought of going outside to train makes me sweat. I quit taking KK to classes probably in May due to the heat. Marley never goes to class. I'm taking KK out for just a few minutes late, late evening and working on some distance skills with her. Marley has just lucked out and I haven't really done much of anything with her.

We have an AKC trial next weekend and then KK will do a USDAA trial in mid Sept. After that, no more trials until mid October. I'm hoping after vacation (Jekyll Island in late Sept.), we will get back into some classes or privates.

The broken toe can know be bent some, the pain has dulled. The pulled calf muscle is better, just can't walk uphill yet. Just trying to take it easy. I get my yearly thyroid (cancer) labs drawn mid month. I'm sure my Vitamin D and Calcium levels will be low.......maybe why my bones break often??

Missy is avoiding the heat at all costs. She sacks out on the sofa under the fan. Molly still goes out on patrol. Not as long, but she still goes. She comes in and cools off and then wants out again. I'm glad she's stayin active.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

NADAC

We ventured up to Springfield, MO to try our hand at NADAC agility last weekend. Marley and I had previously attended a NADAC trial 2 years ago and I wasn't impressed. But we decided to give it another try and it would give KK's foster mom a chance to see her run.

KK did well. She earned several Q's (can't recall in what). She had some nice runs but the inability to tug really demotivated her. We are used to tugging into the ring and out of the ring. I didn't know until after our first run that tugging is prohibited in NADAC....have no idea why. She would run and we would come off the course and snap on her buckle collar and walk back to the crate. After a few runs, she didn't even jump up looking for her tug leash. I love that KK works for her tug and is so excited coming off a course and running to get her tug leash. For a 'positive' environment, it was a demotivating environment for my dog.

Marley only ran tunnelers both days. She was so happy not to see weave poles anywhere!! She Q'd her runs and earned her Novice Tunnelers Title.

I was surprised to see that there are no refusals in Open and Elite. I was amazed at the number of Elite dogs that ran around jumps and missed weave entries but could Q if they stayed on course and didn't knock a bar. I just expect at that level a dog should be able to run a course without multiple refusals. I'm not saying KK is flawless, but I think she only had 1 'refusal' the whole trial and she's only been competing 4 months.

I guess since I cut my teeth on USDAA agility, I'm used to a higher level of difficulty and stricter rules. I like structure. I like a real challenge. I like to come off a course learning something about my handling or my dog. That didn't happen this weekend. This was the first trial that I literally couldn't wait until it was over. Don't get me wrong, it was nicely run and there were some nice people there.

But NADAC isn't for us.

Thursday, July 18, 2013

ANOTHER BUMP IN THE ROAD AND.......ANOTHER BREAK

It's been a rough few weeks for me. My good friend lost her battle with pancreatic cancer. She 'took care' of me during those dark months after my mom's death. She was the first one at my office door the day I came back to work after the funeral. She was there at the 6 mo anniversary. She was there for me. We only got to see her once after she went on medical leave and I'm so glad we had that time to be with her. She has left a huge hole in my heart and life.

My dad was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease this week. Early stage. At least we have answers for some of his symptoms. Hoping he can be independent for a long time.I'm going to have to add onto my house if he ends up living with me.

Then on Sunday, I broke my left little toe. I made it 16 months between breaks. At least this one was traumatic so I'm not too bothered by the break. It hurts, is very discolored and I can't bend it. I have yet to put on a 'real' shoe...plan on trying that tomorrow.

We have an agility trial this weekend but I'm pretty sure we will be ok. It's NADAC. Not a venue we plan on actively pursuing. It should be a good weekend though!!