We are a few weeks removed from our UM-Columbia vet visit. We took a few days to rest and then I started some rehab with Marley. Walking up hills. Exhausting but good for us. On those walks I had time to think and make decisions. One of the decisions I made was about Marley's future.
Marley is officially semi-retired. I will enter her in trials here and there for fun and because I love to run with her. I had put so much pressure on myself to push Marley farther than anyone thought we could go. When she started showing signs of failure physically, I just couldn't see past my goals...I wanted to continue to prove people wrong about her. I couldn't see that she was physically struggling, she was hurting, all I could see was MY dreams dying. I couldn't see her trying to please me despite her pain.
As one vet told me right after Marley was diagnosed with bilateral HD 'it will always be a push and pull with Marley'. Some times I will be pushing her to exercise, to let me do her stretches and other times I will be pulling her back in, trying to reign her in. Marley has been feeling good the last week or so. Active, playing and back to full on chase and wrestling with KK. Watching her so happy and carefree makes me dream about what could have been. But it was not to be.
I will always have my dreams for Marley and they may remain just that...dreams.
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