REALIZATION

This weekend I opened my the latest issue of my agility magazine. As I was reading the editorial page, I literally thought it was about me. It was about trainers and their effect on their students. I found some very interesting statements in the article.


*Coaches can empower or crush a person with a single statement.*
     In life you have to take the good with the bad. People have no idea that something they say can or will have an everlasting empact on a person. Being told that 'Marley is way too much dog for you' has driven me to where I am now. I had to leave to find myself. I would not be where I am now with Marley if I had stayed. If I had stayed, Marley would have retired before she began. Instead, I left and just look at where Marley is now. Look at the titles she has amassed. Look at Marley. Look at Marley for the dog she has become. Look at Marley. Look at Marley for the sweet, loving, happy dog she is. Look at Marley.
     So after 2 years, I'm glad 'Marley is way too much dog for you' was said to me. I'm glad I let those words empower me and not crush me. Thank you for giving me the power to find myself and what I needed for Marley. Thank you for giving me the strength I needed to go. I'm still bitter but I'm glad. Glad I was pushed to do and go somewhere else.


* There is a culture in dog sports where students give away an inordinate amount of power to the instructor to get access to information, facilities, and other resources. In some cases, it can be like joining a secret society. In dog sports, students are considered 'disloyal' for going to another instructor. It's not taken into consideration that perhaps they outgrew the instructor, or need to improve in an area that isn't an area of expertise for that instructor.*
     I learned this the hard way. Marley is a great dog. She's had her 'issues' and we've worked hard to get past those 'issues'. We got to a point that we needed something else, someone else in her training. It was a decision I agonized about for awhile. I finally got tired of leaving agility classes in tears and crying all the way home. I needed to find someone who could help me with Marley without breaking her spirit.
      I didn't know that by leaving, I would lose the people I had trained with for years. I didn't know that by trying to find Marley the help she needed would lead to people not talking to me or making snide comments about where I chose to go to train. It has bothered me and I have retaliated by making snide comments. My feelings were hurt and that's how I dealt with it...being petty like them. Yes, I still harbor bad feelings about the whole situation. Especially since people who I never trained with seem to think they know what went on previously and feel the need to be snarky about Marley. They don't even know my reasons for needing to go somewhere else. I needed something different for Marley. I needed help with Marley without breaking her spirit! For some reason, these people seem to not like where I am now. The agility world is small and it's hard not to see the same people at trials and not have flashbacks or pettiness displayed.
      This is my journey with my girls and I will stand up for them. Agility is about having fun with your dogs! Not having to be worried about what others say about you or your handling skills during your run. I'm working on being a better person and keeping my head on straight.


*A good coach will be concerned primarily with the well-being, safety, protection and future of the individual performer. There must be a balance between the development of performance and the social, emotional, intellectual, and physical needs of the individual.*
     I found my agility home. I found the best trainer I could ever want for Marley and she has flourished! She went from a dog with 'issues' to a happy, bouncy, successful agility dog with lots of spirit! I will always wonder 'what if'. What if I had looked for help before Marley got labeled, what it, what if...it will always plague me.
     Kalea-Kate has been brought up from a little 16 week old pup to a 15 month old confident girl who's already in advanced agility classes, weaving 12 poles and competent on every piece of agility equipment. She's even entered in her first agility trial in March. My confidence has grown and so has my handling. Don't get me wrong, I still get intimidated and nervous at times at trials, but I feel more comfortable in the agility world.
     I have said it many times and I will continue to say it, I have found the right trainer for us. As a bonus I have made a lifelong friend and confidant and found some great training buddies. I made a great best friend during training. We are both a little nuts about our girls! I love trialing with my friends! It's great to have the support you need and just great people to hang out with during the weekend. We are a pretty laid back group and that just makes a trial so much better! We all tease each other about our runs and mistakes but support each other regardless.


*At the end of the day, nothing is more valuable than someone's dignity.*
     It's important to be able to be yourself in every setting. To have integrity and respect. I have spent 2 years being bitter about the past. I basically wasted 2 years brewing over something that I couldn't change, it was in the past and needs to stay there. The last year has been the hardest year ever for me. I have had a ton of support from my training friends and that has gotten me through some very dark times.  I have some great friends off the agility field and they try their best to keep my feet on solid ground.
     I've recently taken time to sort through my feelings and am coming to terms with alot of stuff. I'm working on myself and my attitude towards life. I will always be a work in progress.